Looking Back

I've been bugged recently to pick up on my blog again. At least SOMEONE enjoys reading about my life...or is stalking me. I don't really mind either. :D



So, I think my last blog entry was around Easters. Since then, the school year has ended, I officially lost my job, I had to clean out my classroom, my best friend from 4th grade got married, my best friend and old roomie came to visit, I followed the Lord's will for me to go to Africa and...that brings me to today.

I was just reading some of my old blog posts (most were deleted due to the...public-ness...of this blog) that date way back into my student teaching months. Just reading about how the Lord has spoken to me on so many occasions and how I have grown to love to hear His voice. It wasn't always like that; we all go through times when His desires for us are the exact opposite of what we want.

As we head to Guinea, West Africa next week with a team of 7 others, I was encouraged to keep a journal. My first thought was, "I don't even water my plants every day. Why would I want to keep a daily journal?" Now I know why! Not only will I be able to look back and recount all the amazing events that we participated in while visiting, but I will be able to see the reflection of the Lord in my life during my trip.

Anyway, if you follow my blog and life, that pretty much brings you up-to-date. Recently, I have made some new friends. Which is weird for me since I'm a home-body. But it works. And I think they'll be my friends for jever ;)

At the end

Spring Break is sadly coming to a close. I was able to catch up a little on my Bible Reading Club (the online version is awesome for my online-addict personality) and even got over to Pismo to spend a day with my girlfriends. I still haven't heard any news about my job for next year but I'm still just trusting the Lord that He will open doors for where He wants me to be.

Church was fun yesterday! Apparently the storage unit we keep our trailer at is closed for Easter Sunday, so we had to go "unplugged" for worship. It was kinda cool in my eyes cuz it was like the Lord was reminding us where we came from and where He has brought us.

I'm going to get some coffee with my big sis and bro-in-law tonight. Don't get to spend much time alone or with them alone so I'm excited!

Feeling the Pressure

So, I woke up with these words blasting in my head from yet another of my favorite worship songs:

And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

I guess it's time to let go and let God.

Reasons Peasons

So, my title and picture are under deep scrutiny right now. I would like to explain why I chose the words I chose and why I chose the picture I chose.

My sister says I have to choose a name and stick with it in order to be a "Real" blogger. -I- maintain that it is tough to describe your current, ever-changing mood and life when you are as young as myself :)

Anyway, the words "Oh, How He Loves Us" are from a song written by John Mark McMillan. Ever since Tina our worship leader introduced us to this song, I have been addicted to the words. Here are some of the powerful lyrics:

He is jealous for me
He loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me.

To me, these words tell how passionate and powerful the Lord's love is for each of us. Not some puny cartoony, romantic movie kind of love. Love like a hurricane...do you know what hurricanes do?!

The song then goes on to repeat over and over:

Oh, how He loves us so
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so.

Yeah, He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves.

Hence, the explosion shaped like a heart. His love consumes all else leaving behind only Him and us. How can I express this love to you?! How can you tell someone that God loves them? Tell them He loves them like a hurricane. And that they are simply a tiny tree that can barely hold on because His love is almost too much to endure.

Wow...that sounds violent and intense, but to me, it is very powerful and meaningful to me and my walk with the Lord. I can never love Him as much as He loves me...my love IS puny compared to His.

Friends for Life (FFL)

So, in honor of Brianna's blog all about me and how fantabulous I am, I thought I'd return the favor. Brianna (or Nan as our family lovingly calls her) is just over 10 years younger than me. I remember being 10 when she was born and thinking of how cool it was to be an "Auntie" so young. She and I were BEST friends when we were little. The Bryants lived in OR for a while and when they would come visit, she would run into my arms yelling "Auntie Ri!" I would babysit her, feed her, change her smelly diapers...those were the good ole years.

Then she grew up. Just kidding. No but really...she was like a little sister to me and as I grew older, she wanted to be with me and all the big girls all the time. I will admit there were times I wanted her out of my room during my sleepovers! I look back and wish I could tell my little jr. high self to love that little toddler and enjoy her, but alas...

Now she is turning 14 soon. Over the last few years, she and I have grown much closer than we have ever been. She makes me laugh ALL the time and we hang out often (like, at LEAST once a week). I can't wait for her to start singing on the worship team with me and we sing in the car a lot together.

As she grows up (and by up I mean UP!!), I have watched her go from a tiny sweet baby to a tall, talented young lady who loves the Lord and her family. I know the Lord has amazing plans for you, Black Man, and I am so blessed to be by your side through it all <3

Merry Christmas Eve!

Look at those big doe eyes...how can you resist me?!

Grateful

I often find myself preaching to a room full of 10 year olds. Sometimes I reprimand their poor grades, sometimes I remind them that I am there to help. Mostly, I spew out wisdom about being thankful for what they have. Such as a teacher who still accepts late assignments or a treasure box full of fun prizes every week.

Tonight, I feel overwhelmed with thankfulness. A thankfulness that I often try to force, but never recognize myself. Sometimes it takes extraneous situations to really make you realize that you have a lot more than you really need or even deserve.

As many of you know, I am a teacher. Among one of the most selfless jobs...so I've heard. Well, when someone tells you that, you think, "Hey, I AM pretty important, huh?" Then you slowly forget where you came from. From dirt, from nothing. Well, I'm here to say that I remember where I've come from.

I remember that I am wrong, that I am broken, that I am poor. I remember these things because that isn't me anymore. My Lord took my worthlessness, my stupidity, my anger, my impatience, my bad attitude, my financial struggles, my self-image, my family. He took it ALL and said, "It's okay, Sarai. I can handle this for you."

I am THANKFUL that I don't have to worry about where my next meal is coming from or whether or not I will have a job in a month or in a year. I am thankful that the Lord calls me to trust in Him and His grace and faithfulness daily. I am thankful that I struggle with stress, worry and anxiety. Most people would never be thankful for these things. I am thankful because my daily struggles remind me that I am not alone. They keep me in check. They teach me to share my burdens with the Lord.