The One who loves you most

I had a pretty crummy moment a few hours ago. One of those moments when all the things in life that you've been juggling seem to kind of multiply mid-toss and splat all over the place. All the emotions, responsibilities, relationships...

As I vented to my sweet and wise fiancé about how those you hold most dear are the ones who hurt you most...about how THEY acted and how THEY wronged me...he gently reminded me that I can only worry about my own actions and that I have a Father who loves me DEARLY. One who won't lie to me about whether or not He forgives me or is disappointed in me and One who will correct me in my disobedience. 

So I'm feeling much better now that I've been reminded once again of my pride, selfishness and unending need for the grace that only Christ gives. 

<3

Surgery update!

Let me preface this with an acknowledgment of my lack of control over my life and the lives of those I love. I recognize the sovereign plan of my Saviour even when His plans for glory may not align with "my plans" for my life. Jacob and I love Christ with all our hearts and we live to serve Him in any capacity, again, even when it may not align with what we desire for ourselves...even when it's tough. 

Well, we just left Jake's appointment with the thoracic surgeon and he will be operating on 7/19, pending insurance approval. Fast, huh?

Here are the details: The first surgery appears to have left some tumor in the spinal canal. This is just based off the MRI and things may look completely different once they actually open Jacob up. The thoracic surgeon will not operate in the spinal canal, so the original neurologist (who is an AMAZING doctor and man) will be present in case he needs to remove this part. The doctors will use a camera to see if they need to proceed with 1 of 2 options.

Option one means the thoracic surgeon can get the remainder of the tumor out without entering the spinal canal. This is the less invasive of the 2 and will leave him on disability and in a recovery time of 2-3 weeks after a short hospital stay. 

Option two means the thoracic surgeon cannot get the remainder of the tumor out without entering the spinal canal. He and the neuro surgeon will make a much larger incision and work together to remove the remainder. This is the more invasive of the 2 and will leave him on disability and in a recovery time of 6-12 weeks after a 3-5 day hospital stay. 

All surgery comes with risks and the doctors tell us the percentages are less than 4% for any of them, but there are so many it's hard to not think any of them could occur. 

If you've read this far, thanks! :) We ask for your prayers, love and support as you've already given throughout his first surgery and recovery. 

<3 Sarai & Jacob