Just some lyrics from a song that describe the topic of this blog. As you all know, I recently joined Bakersfield Loser sponsored by Body Xchange---mine and Tina's gym. I just felt like it was time to come clean with some issues I was having a few weeks ago. My personal blog, versus our combined journey blog, seemed a better place to do that.
I am only sharing this because a few of you were the ones who helped me get over this hump: when you are dieting, it is SO easy to get obsessed. I was literally OBSESSING about every little thing I ate. I even got to the point where I would convince myself to NOT eat or to eat VERY little at dinner time.
Anyway, in our last Beth Moore bible study we did with the ladies at church, my sister had us write a few things that stuck out to us at the bible study. I just happened to find my card in the midst of that tough time (which I think MAY have been my sister's idea all along?)
First of all, this card was written sort of during the beginning times of my gym days: last November. It didn't even come into play in my life until now, 3 months later. That just really encourages me because some things that we do NOW, we won't see the fruit for months, maybe even years.Next, I want to share with you the passage from the study that talks about "self-control" of the mouth. One passage is about controlling what comes out of your mouth: gossip, insults, rude words. The other? What goes IN your mouth:
" 12"Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything. 13"Food for the stomach and the stomach for food"—but God will destroy them both." It is no accident that the subject of physical appetite is immediately followed by the exhortation to let nothing master us. Many Americans--bone thin to morbidly obese--are mastered by food"Ack! Just typing this is bringing tears to my eyes. So. Not that I was morbidly obese before, but we can all admit that Sarai has always been on the "chunky" side, especially over the last 5 years. But reading this was like Beth was looking at me saying, "Sarai! Get ahold of yourself! God has called you to bigger and better things and letting food make or break you day is not in His plan for you!!"
In the video series, Beth talked with some women about being "content" at your weight. Obviously, obesity or over-weightness is not healthy and not a place where we are called to be "content." But, if we are eating SENSIBLY and exercising (maybe not twice a day like Kristina and I are right now, but at least 3-4 times a week), then the Lord asks us as women to NOT compare ourselves to other women who are size 2 or size 4, but to look in the mirror and see OURSELVES as gorgeous, healthy, CONTENT women who are happy to be the size they are. That is why I wrote, "Be free, not obsessed with weight."
This ties in with my "rough week" because I was no longer living in His freedom. I was CRYING everytime I went to eat, thinking to myself, "This has 300 calories! How am I going to burn this off, plus the 300 I ate earlier??" And that was barely at 11am! Like I said, I was convincing myself out of dinner DAILY.
Next on my card, (skip the middle part about Hanukkah...I can't remember why I wrote that! I'll have to go back to my study heehee) I wrote a little arrow. On one end is "Neglect," on the other end is "Obsession," and in the middle is "Respect." Basically, to me, this has to do with food. You have 3 options every day when you wake up. You can either neglect your God-given needs of a basic healthy caloric intake every day (which I would catogorize as: Obsession), you can over-do it with junk food and other unhealthy things (which I would say is Neglect), or you can choose to respect your body and your God and do what is healthy for yourself.
Isn't it crazy how the Lord speaks directly to ANY issue we have in our lives? I never thought I'd get encouragement about my WEIGHT from the Bible!
I think my main purpose in sharing all this is that I, yes I, went through a time where I realized how easy it is to have an eating disorder. I am by no means belittling those of you who have maybe dealt with this. In fact, I am saying I understand what that stuff can do to you! (And obviously, not ENCOURAGING it by ANY means). The Lord says in His word: "DON'T LET ANYTHING MASTER YOU." A few weeks ago, I was letting my weight and food master my life. The enemy will use ANYTHING HE CAN to destroy you. Don't let him. Be victorious!
<3 "Still overweight, but working on it, but I'm finally CONTENT" Sarai
