Being a "teacher" at this point has been a struggle for me. Losing my job last Spring was a major blow for me and my confidence as an educator. I know it wasn't "personal" but I grew up having to be the best of the best in order to prove myself and losing at something wasn't great for my self-image. However, I believe the Lord is using that to help me grow in other areas of my life--especially as a teacher :)
I've been subbing in a 4th grade classroom in the district I used to teach for full time. I will be in the same classroom until Oct/Nov/Dec ish. I've always felt I was too strict for a 4th grade teacher, so I decided to use this year as a "let go and have fun" year since I'm "technically" not their teacher. I felt like things were going ok. Lots of talkers and I've had to be strict with a few who don't operate well without strict boundaries, but overall, I've had a really fun time with the kids.
Last night was Back to School night where I got to meet the parents of my students and lay down the law for the school year ;) I was nervous, as usual and felt under dressed...then I felt over dressed, then I felt too tall, then I felt too short...tons of emotions. Anyway, the night went really well: I met great families and both presentations went really well. Today, I received 2 emails from parents telling me that their child has not stopped talking about me since Day One and how much they love school since coming to me this year. I pretty much cried. That's really meaningful to me since I feel so "rookie" being only a 3rd year teacher and actually pretty inexperienced with children, not having any of my own. I'm also not a coddler. I don't baby my students. I don't even baby my nieces and nephews. So, it looks like I'm finding a good balance of fun, supportive, yet strict-ish teacher. I even had a student see me at bowling tonight and run up to me for a big hug. :)
I'm still learning. I love learning. I admit my faults to my students every day and they still love me and somehow learn from me. I only hope I can love them enough to be a shining light in their lives that reflects the love of Christ. <3
